I don’t think it is easy to process no matter how it happens. Car wreck, murder, suicide, freak accident….it all happens everyday and has somehow become ‘normal’. Birth, life, death. That’s how it works and all in God’s time and according to His purpose. Some of us are gifted more time on earth than others and that’s hard to accept sometimes. We are emotionally connected humans that have feelings, thoughts and wishes.
I went into my senior year of high school dealing with the loss of my only sister. Many of you know this. I was taking my ASVAB military entrance test the day of her car wreck. Many of you don’t know that. My life has changed since that day. God had a plan for her and it was time to call her home; it has taken many years to understand this. Flip side is that God has a plan for those that are left behind too. I went and retook the test and was offered many positions within the military. I declined. God had other plans for me.
My grandma and I were very close. She was one of my best friends growing up. When she fell ill after back surgery a few years ago, I visited her often. Her illness grew worse and on my last visit she couldn’t talk. I did the talking and held her hand. She kept pushing my hand away and I took it to mean that she didn’t want me to see her like that and she knew the end was near. Family called the next day and asked if I wanted to come say goodbye and I told them I already did. My heart knew she was at peace.
Suicide has touched our family a couple times in recent history also. Please know that there is always someone who will listen. There are anonymous hotlines, local agencies, and good friends that care. It is always a blessing to get a simple text, ‘praying for you today’ or a random delivery of flowers or a 5 minute just stopped in to say Hi and help fold laundry visit.
This is an odd topic to write about but necessary. God has a plan for all of us and He will call us home in His timing. Enjoy the time and gifts you are given. Know that things happen for a reason, even if we never get to know why this side of heaven. Have faith.